9.12.18

i am lost but having disintegrated former versions of self I am free to rise to a renewed state of being.
there is no fear in my confusion. only elation in knowing that there is more to this journey than i’d originally conceived. the barriers are being pushed from my sight and it’s a free fall but i’m picking up a new world in this rush, glimpses at least, that i know deep within me are soon to be realized.
there is everything ahead. everything behind.
i am realizing things about myself i never knew possible. yet understanding that these things are just labels i can continue to enjoy and subvert and twist to my imagination.
i am the feminine divine and the masculine energy, the artist and pragmatist. the naive spiritualist and divine knower of truth. i am contradiction, hypocrisy, an unfolding kaleidoscope of identity. i play with form like song.

a poem about Montreal

If memory weighs upon summer, it’s the hues of August that suffer
If transcendence is regaled to a greyhound, it is left at the port of disembarkment
What will feed summer if not motion?
If not fumes of highway greenery?

a poem about leaving old friends

If that which I love leaves me, I bend time to bring it closer
If that which I know grows no longer beside me, only appearances suffer
Goodbye is never a final offer
Especially when it comes to us, it is only an invitation to return

lids like weights
i'd like to think sleep is optional
and i could push through
i could keep humming
like some machine
and we love machines
i'm not one